


Pickin' Up The Pieces

by Melanie_Athene



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Drug Withdrawal, Episode related: s01e05 The Fix, M/M, elements of non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:15:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanie_Athene/pseuds/Melanie_Athene
Summary: Hutch is forcibly hooked on heroin by a jealous mobster. A heroin charge would almost certainly end his career, so Starsky takes him to Huggy’s apartment to hide there as long as he needs to detox.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Pickin' Up The Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This story first appeared in _Mobile Ghettos II_  
>  (published by Entwhistle and Duck, February 1987)

“Help me. You keep sayin' you're my friend… so help me."

 _How many times have you hit me with that line tonight, Hutch? You're hurtin' so bad you can't see **my** heart is breakin' in two. Your pain is mine – you know that. Cut you, and I bleed. You're part of me, babe. The best part._

"Help me. Gimme what I need. You can get it for me, Starsk. You can make a bust or buy it – I don't care which. I – I'll pay ya back, I swear it. But I need, oh God, I need a fix!"

_You ain't tryin' to hide the tremors rackin' you from head to toe – probably couldn't hide 'em if you tried. Desperation's carvin' lines in your choir-boy cheeks and brow. Your baby blues are lost in the dark smudges circlin' your eyes; the golden angel fluff of your hair's sweat-stained and matted now. You're long past even the semblance of self-control or pride. You're a stranger. A strung-out junkie curled up in a foetal ball there on Huggy's bed: cryin'... beggin'..._

_I'll kill the bastards that did this to you._

"Help me!" 

_However many times the plea comes don't matter. My answer is gonna stay the same._

"I'm here, Hutch. I'm here. Hold on, buddy, hold on." 

_As I perch on the edge of the mattress, you crawl into my arms, clawin' at me with the blind panic of a drowning man._

"Shhh, shhh." 

_I keep my voice a soothing murmur, cradlin' and rockin' you as best I can. I'll be the lifeline you cling to. I'll be the lighthouse guiding your ship home to safe harbour. I'll be anything you need me to be, because I need you too, partner. I love you._

"Shhh, shhh. You're doin' fine. You're gonna be okay." 

"S-Starsk?" 

"I'm here." 

"Starsk... it... it hurts." 

"Oh, babe, I know it does. I know. But ya gotta go this cold turkey. It's the only way. You know that, pal." 

"I know." 

_Scarcely a whispered sigh those two little words but, nonetheless, you've just taken the first step towards helping me help you fight this monkey on your back. Slowly, gently, I tilt your vulnerable, still beautiful face up to let you share in the hope you've given me._

"Starsk?" 

_I can't answer. My heart and arms are too full of you to move... to breathe..._

"Starsk." 

_Your tears match the tears floodin' my eyes. Real tears this time, I think. Not pain or drug induced. Tears of heartfelt emotion. Tears of love._

_My hands caress your cheeks; you lean your face into my hands and close your eyes. Trustingly, your arms steal ‘round my neck, the warm weight of your body pressin' me down... down... And, as you lie atop me, I feel your racing heartbeat poundin' in my breast. My breathing quickens, echoing your contented sighs. Your fingers stroke my hair, stray down my rib cage, and when your lips touch mine..._

"Hutch!” 

_I roll away, huddle in a corner of the rumpled bed, as I watched you huddle minutes ago._

"My God, what are you tryin' to do?" 

_I swab an angry arm across my eyes, and turn a ferocious glare on your sweetly bewildered face._

"Hutch... forget it. It's not gonna work.” 

"I – I don't know what you mean." 

"Don't you?" 

_The accusation hits you with the full, punishing force of a lash. Innocent facade shattered, you curl in upon yourself, crimson chasin' the pallor from your cheeks._

"I... I'm sorry." 

"Are you?" 

_Your head jerks erect. Fury briefly glows; fades in hopeless, weary defeat until only shame remains. Shame... and self-revulsion._

"Oh, Hutch...” 

_You struggle, but I won’t let you get away. I keep at you till you’re back in my embrace: clingin’ tight and weepin’ like a child. Weepin’ like you’ll never stop._

" 'm sorry. 'm sorry. Thought I could buy you. Thought I could turn a trick for a fix. Oh, God..." 

_Words dissolve to wild, gut-wrenching sobs._

“Shhh, shhh, shhh.” 

_We ride out the storm together; sobs die to hiccups, hiccups to silence._

“Okay now, partner?” 

"Yeah. As okay as I'm gonna be." 

"It's not forever, babe." 

"No... it just seems that way." 

"Yeah.” 

_Five hours down, forty-three to go. Forever._

"Starsk..." 

“If you're gonna say I'm sorry again, forget it. Wasn't all your fault. I set up conditions for a seduction scene." 

_Oh, shit, did I ever! No wonder you hit on me. You know an easy mark when you see one. God, yes, you’d have to know. Even through the brain-numbing heroin fog you can’t help but see the hunger in my eyes when I look at you... touch you... Dammit, Hutchinson, I’d sell my soul to the devil for you. Don’t tempt me into sellin’ **your** soul too._

“Starsk?" 

"Yeah?" 

“Starsk, what if... what if it wasn't a con? What if I said I want you... need you... Just you... no strings attached?” 

_Don’t stand there with your jaw danglin’, Starsky-me-lad. Answer the man._

“Hutch, you don't mean that. You're hurtin' bad. You're not thinkin' too clear right now, Don't... don't make me an offer you'll regret." 

_One I won't be able to turn down._

“Starsky, I love you. I want you. I need you, babe. I – I feel so empty, so alone. 'Hutch' is gone. There's nothing left of him. Nothing but you. I see him in your eyes. You're keeping him safe for me. And I want him back. I want you to bring me back to me. I want you to fill the emptiness. I want you... in me. More'n anything in the world, babe, I want you." 

_Damn. Oh, damn. I ain't thinkin' too straight myself, Hutch. Am I really what you want, or am I just a substitute for the drug? Somethin' to get you through the night? It doesn’t matter. I want you too. God, how I want you! But... but..._

"Hutch... no..." 

"Love me, babe. Make love to me." 

"Hutch...” 

_Too late to run. No turnin' back now. Your hands are everywhere – never knew I had a friggin’ octopus for a partner. Your lips are soft, warm, exciting, intoxicating. Can’t stop. Can’t think._

"Hutch..." 

_Shirt buttons poppin'... jeans takin' forever to slide down... kickin’ discarded clothing to the floor... tumblin’ on the bed... coverin’ every inch of you with every inch of me. Breath sobbin’ in my throat... blood poundin’ a mad tattoo, drummin’ sense and sanity from my brain..._

"Love me, Starsky. Love me." 

_Your legs parting, frantic hands guiding me. Body and soul mine for the taking. Begging for love as you begged for your damned fix. Begging... begging... begging..._

"Starsky?" 

_And I can't refuse... can't... **must**... can't..._

_I slip into the hot, tight sheath you offer: cock swelling, pulsing, aching. Reaching deeper, needing deeper._

"Starsk." 

_You surge to meet me: accepting the vigorous intruder; inviting, demanding further penetration._

"Starsk!" 

_I buck inside you: thrusting... thrusting..._

"StarskStarskStarskStarskStarsk..." 

_Your eyes are wide, aware, sparklin' with lust and love. Your head's thrown back now, the screamed litany of my name fadin' to ecstatic gasps and moans... risin' to screams once more..._

_Hutch. My Hutch._

_Your orgasm triggers mine. Lost in you, I add my voice to yours: inarticulate cries mingling, blending, one as we are one. God knows what Hug must think. I heard him rattlin’ at the door an infinity ago. Thank God I shot the bolt home from this side... But the fleeting thought's of no importance now. You and me, babe. That's the only thing that matters. You and me. Together, Together like I've dreamed that we could be – should be. Forever. Forever and ever._

_And when I'm drained, too sated to even withdraw from the welcome warmth enveloping me, too enraptured to wipe the loony grin offa my face..._

"Starsk." 

_You speak my name, give me that 'Hutchinson look' of fond exasperation, and suddenly I spring alive with fresh desire. I begin once more to move inside you: leisurely thrusts this time; controlled, measured strokes; a slow and gentle spiralling down into a raging nova's heart._

_An act of love... not fear... not desperation._

_Love. Nirvana. Peace._  
  


* * *

_Seven hours since we last made love._

_Seven long hours since I held you... kissed you... whispered all the silly love words lovers strew so casually._

_I meant every word I said._

_Did you?_

_Can't help but wonder how you're gonna feel 'bout what's gone down between us when you're back to your old self. Already you've turned cranky... pushed me away..._

_You're finally asleep – dozin’ at least. Propped up against the wall like that, it’s a wonder you don’t break your neck. Think I already broke mine. I've been sittin’ over here, all twisted up in this damned chair, goin’ on forever._

_You look like hell warmed over. And me? I guess I don't look much better._

_But the crisis is past. You’re gonna be okay. And as I pad towards the telephone to let Dobey in on the good news of your recovery, I can’t help thinkin’ that there’s all kinds of addictions, babe. An’ if cuttin' you free from heroin was no piece of cake, then what snowball’s chance in hell do I have of gettin’ myself unhooked from lovin’ you after the way you let me love you last night?_

_Help me, Hutch._

_I need a fix._

_I need you._


End file.
